Peace at Home #03: God and the Truth

Before I jump into the actual principles of Shalom Bayit, I wanted to briefly tell you how Jonathan and I got here. As I sat down and started writing, I realized this was anything but brief.

If you missed last week, catch up with What’s the Mission of Your Marriage? and God Dragged Through the Mud.

Recently, I shared an obscure passage from the book of Numbers that shows the extreme lengths God goes through to make peace between husband and wife. You can read that blog post here. But maybe you’re not quite convinced that shalom bayit, a peaceful home, is God’s mission for your marriage.

We weren’t either. After studying Numbers, we thought maybe this was our goal, but what really confirmed it was when we read the account of Abraham and Sarah, and the day they were visited by three mysterious men. You can read the whole story in Genesis 18:1-15.

The story goes like this: One day, Abraham is resting at the entrance of his tent when he spots three strangers approaching. He rushes out to invite them in, then Sarah and their servants rush to prepare a feast. While they were enjoying their meal, one of the men predicted that Abraham and Sarah would have a son within a year. Sarah, overhearing from inside the tent, laughed to herself and said, “I am too old to have a child, and so is my husband.” The stranger then asks, “Why did your wife laugh and say she’s too old to have a child?”

We found out in vs. 1 of the passage that the one stranger who speaks was God Himself. Something very subtle just happened in this exchange between Sarah, God, and Abraham. There’s a difference between what Sarah says and then what God repeats to Abraham. He omits the part where she says Abraham is too old.

The sages saw from this encounter that God doesn’t tell Abraham everything Sarah said in order to protect their relationship. If he were to tell Abraham that Sarah said he was too hold to have children - although it was complete true - it would have caused grief and strife in their relationship. God determined that it was more important to maintain peace than to tell the truth.

God goes to great lengths in order to make peace in a marriage. If He’s willing to put His reputation on the line to protect our marriage, how much more is it our own responsibility to humble ourselves and make sacrifices in order to protect our marriage? If you’re married or about to get married, this is your mission. This is your divine calling.

But it’s overwhelming, learning how to do this while you’re planning your wedding. It’s overwhelming, applying these principles in a marriage that feels tired, mediocre, and one-sided.

You’re not alone in this. We’re about to guide you through the biblical principles and real life advice that has kept marriages together for thousands of years. Your marriage is next.